


Obsessed

by SoGayItHurts



Category: Football RPF
Genre: And honestly tho same, Because we all know real Jesse is obsessed with Marcus, Jesse’s crazy, M/M, anyway, based on a true but (extremely extremely extremely exaggerated) story, for Marcus, no happy ending, unrequited love I guess
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-07
Updated: 2018-08-07
Packaged: 2019-06-23 11:44:42
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,902
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15605559
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SoGayItHurts/pseuds/SoGayItHurts
Summary: Jesse is crazy. Out of his mind. Insane. And it’s all because of Marcus.He’s not even a person anymore, not his own person anyway, all he thinks about is Marcus. All he lives for is Marcus, all he loves is Marcus, it’s driven him crazy.And there’s nothing he can do.





	Obsessed

 

It was concerning.

It was concerning for the rest of the team, every single other player in Manchester United. The people closest to him were all concerned about him, and they had a right to be.

Jesse liked Marcus. He knew it, in fact  
every person who had spend even five minutes around him knew it. Because as much as liking someone goes, Jesse was obsessed.

Too obsessed to be not of concern.

Every single topic lead to Marcus, every interviewer only got answers about Marcus, every thought that crossed his mind involved Marcus, almost every sentence he spoke contained something about Marcus.

Jesse wasn’t even a person, he was more of a breathing Marcus Rashford fan account. He had almost lost all personality he had ever had and replaced it with useless Marcus Rashford facts.

 

  
“Where’s Marcus?” He asked, one day as the boys were getting ready in the locker room at practice for a match against Watford. Paul sighed beside him and then shrugged his shoulders.

“I don’t know,”  
“Well, he said he would be here at 2:00 and-“

“How about we talk about something else, and worry about Marcus later,”

“He’s starting today,”

“What?” Paul asked, confused by the vague sentence Jesse had stated.

“Marcus. He’s starting today,”

Paul rolled his eyes, and muttered an “I know,”

“Which is good, don’t you think, for the team, I mean, Marcus does really help raise the-“

“Oh, look, Marcus is here, why don’t you go and see him, I’m gonna go,” Paul patted Jesse’s shoulder and then left.

He loved Jesse like a brother, no doubt about it, but his extreme obsession with the younger Man Utd player just annoyed Paul sometimes. Sometimes it was all they talked about for hours, and eventually, he got tired of hearing about what Marcus did, or what he deserves, or what he didn’t do.

Sometimes he wanted to speak to Jesse and not Marcus Rashford’s life narrator.

Marcus beamed at Jesse who greeted him with an elaborate handshake and a quick bro hug. And they spoke casually.

That was another thing about his strange obsession. When Marcus was with him, he was normal, himself, a different person, but the second Marcus left his side, Jesse would go insane about everything he knew revolving around him.

Everyone’s favourite Jesse was Jesse around Marcus, he was loud and funny and quirky and himself. If you wanted to know more about Jesse and not random Marcus facts, it was the best time to see him.

“Alright there, Pogba?” Memphis asked as Paul sat beside him, quickly doing a short handshake.

“Yeah, just trying to escape Jesse,”  
“Fair enough,”

“Do you ever think he’s, I don’t know, a bit _too_ obsessed with everything Marcus does?” Paul asked.

“Don’t even get me started. Once at a party, he spent the entire time looking for and talking about Marcus, and he had about five minutes to actually party. It was _his_ fucking birthday party,”

“Once, I asked him how he was and he told me a longwinded tale about how Marcus had grown so much in the past couple of weeks. It lasted almost half an hour,” Andreas joined in.

“Once, I told him how well he did in a match but he refused to take my compliment and repeatedly told me that Marcus was most certainly the man of the match and that he was absolutely amazing for the full 90 minutes. Jesse scored two goals. Marcus was on the bench for half the match,” Marcos added.

Soon enough, there were seven people all simultaneously sharing their experiences with Jesse and his admiration for Marcus. Each one got worse and worse, to the extent where Jesse was making himself physically sick because Marcus was sad.

“Wow,” Paul looked practically gobsmacked after everyone had shared up to five stories each, “I didn’t think it was that bad,”

“Trust me, it only gets worse,” Anthony assured, and all the men’s heads turned to face Jesse and Marcus who sat giggling on the other side of the changing rooms.

“He’s obsessed with Marcus. He’s really obsessed with Marcus,” Paul stared at them. And Memphis whacked him around the head.

“Congrats for figuring it out, idiot,” He smirked, and Paul playfully hit him back.

“Someone seriously needs to go and talk to him about it, just get his head back down to earth and not so far up Marcus’ ass,” Chris said, and they all looked around at each other, waiting for someone to volunteer.

When nobody did, six heads all simultaneously turned to Paul, who sighed and got up.

“That’ll be me,” He muttered, and then left to confront his buddy.

The boys jeered behind him, as he walked right up to the two and then placed a hand on Jesse’s shoulder.

“Can I...uh...talk to you?” He asked, earning a questioning look from Jesse. The younger man turned back to Marcus who shrugged and then smiled at Paul.

“Uh...okay,” Jesse agreed getting up, and as they walked to an isolated corner, he continuously turned his head back to see Marcus.

“So...what’s up?” Jesse asked, making minimal eye contact with Paul and cautiously making sure Marcus was still at his locker.

“I just wanted to uh... ask about something. We’re all worried about you,”

“Who is ‘we’?” Jesse asked, and Paul was about to celebrate that Jesse had uttered a sentence without mentioning Marcus.

“‘We’ is all of us. Every single one of us in this changing room, every single person that cares about you,” Paul replied, Jesse opened his mouth to speak but Paul knew what he was going to say, “And yes, that includes Marcus,”

“Why would Marcus be worried?” Jesse asked, as if he was the only person who’s concern mattered.

“Well, we’re all concerned because you’re going crazy. You’re going completely insane about Marcus,”

“Well, he’s my friend so obviously I should care about him,”

“I understand that, but you don’t just like him, Jes, you practically worship him, every single factor of your life revolves around what Marcus is doing, where he’s going, who he’s with,”

“No it doesn’t,”

“Jesse, it literally does. I asked the boys, and all of them said that they haven’t had a single conversation with you without Marcus being mentioned. You aren’t even YOU anymore, Jes, you’re Marcus’ guardian angel,”

“I talk about other things,”

“You don’t get it, Jesse, you literally don’t. Your entire life revolves around Marcus. Every single action you do is a consequence of something Marcus did. You’re obsessed.”

Jesse stayed silent.

“You talk about him non-stop, you’re constantly looking for him, you literally do worship him. And the worst thing is you probably don’t realise how obsessed you are.”

Jesse still stayed silent.

“Do you?” Paul asked.

“I’m not obsessed,” Jesse muttered under his breath. Paul simply looked at his friend and honestly, he felt bad for him.

“I heard about what you did after the match against Arsenal,” He said, and Jesse looked up at him, rather confused.

“What match against Arsenal?”

“The one where we lost 2-0. You know what I’m talking about,”

And the memory came flooding back.

 

_-Flashback-_

 

_“Jesse?”_

_Anthony yelled from the other side of the bathroom door. They were at his house with a few other team mates, but Jesse had disappeared seconds after they entered the building._

_“Jesse what are you doing in there? It’s been an hour,”_

_There was silence, Anthony couldn’t here a thing from the other side of the door._

_“Jesse? Are you in there? Are you stuck?”_

_No answer._

_“Jes, I’m coming in, alright?”_

_And with that, he barged the door aggressively with his shoulder, several times until the door forced itself open._

_And there was Jesse._

_He lay on the floor, surrounded in small pools of blood, mixed with his own tears. Quivering by himself, he held a pocket knife in his hand and whimpered as Anthony stepped in._

_“JESSE? Oh my god oh my god oh h god,” Anthony frantically rushed to help him, grabbing his arm and looking him in the eye._

_“What happened?” He asked, staring down at the blood, eyes widening._

_“I d-don’t know,” Jesse replied, clutching on to the pocket knife._

_“I’m gonna go and get help, okay-“_

_“Don’t! Please, don’t, I’m okay now,” Jesse interrupted, rather too quickly._

_“Well then you have to tell me what the fuck happened in here, what are you doing?”_

_“I don’t know,”_

_Anthony glared and him and then the pocket knife, before his eyes rested on the bloody floor._

_“Where’s all this blood from,”  
“Me,”_

_Anthony stayed silent for a second._

_“You were hurting yourself with the pocket knife weren’t you?”_

_Jesse stayed silent, his hands were shaking and his lower lip quivered._

_“Give it to me,” Anthony demanded._  
“No,”  
“Give it to me, Jes,”  
“No,”

_“Then tell me why you’re doing this? Why the fuck are you doing this to yourself?”_

_“I d-don’t know,”_

_“You don’t know? Jes, please, just fucking tell me what’s up so I can help,”_

_“The g-game,”_

_“What about the game? It can’t be just because we lost, I mean we’ve lost before,”_

_“But we lost and M...” Jesse stopped and breathed in frustration at himself._

_“And what? Finish the sentence,”_

_“And Marcus was...you saw him right? After the match,”_

_“No, why?”_

_“He was just so bothered and angry, he didn’t even look at me. How often is Marcus angry? He didn’t even come here with us because of that match, he hates me, Marcus hates me,”_

_“Give me a second,” Anthony was in utter disbelief._

_He was sitting beside his mate, one of his best, who was literally making himself bleed to death because his teammate was sad. What was he meant to do? What was he meant to say to Jesse?_

_“You’re doing this because Marcus is sad?”_

_“No, I don’t know why I’m doing it, but Marcus was sad. I probably had some chances in that match that I didn’t take and now Marcus hates me forever,”_

_“I don’t get what you mea-“_

_“Exactly! I don’t even get what I mean. All I know is that Marcus was upset and my first instinct when I see Marcus upset is to do this. I don’t even realise I’m doing it, I just have to,”_

_“You don’t have to! What the fuck, Marcus isn’t your entire life, just because he was angry once doesn’t mean you HURT yourself,”_

_“But what if he is?”_

_“What if he is what?”_

_“What if he is my entire life?”_

_“You’re telling me the only thing you do all day is think and watch Marcus? All day? No family time, no going out with friends, just Marcus?”_

_Jesse nodded, and although it was sad, Anthony was starting to believe him._

_“Have you spoken to him since?” Jesse asked._

_“Who, Marcus?”_

_“I just want to make sure he’s okay, I don’t want to hurt myself even more,”_

_“If you don’t want to do it, then why can’t you just stop?”_

_Jesse looked up and a single tear slid down his face and splashed into the water. He shook his head._

_“You don’t understand,”_

_Looking down at his own blood, it hit him just how crazy he was going, he was going insane, all because of Marcus. His love for Marcus had invaded every single other part of his life, and there was nothing he could do to stop it._

_He was going out of his mind. It was as if he were trapped in a downward obsession spiral and there was no way out. Without even fully realising, he held the pocket knife to his wrist and made another mark._

_Again, he looked up at Anthony, who looked practically sick with sorrow, feeling genuinely concerned about his friend. Jesse stared, as he began to speak again._

_“I can’t,”_

 

_-Flashback Ended-_

 

  
“Who told you, was it Anthony? Because I swear to Go-“

“It doesn’t matter who told me,” Paul intercepted, “All that matters is that I was told and I’m seriously worried,”

“There’s nothing to be worried about, I’m okay now,” Jesse assured, but it was hard to believe him.

“What do you mean there’s nothing to worry about? You’re literally going insane!”

“Then let me go insane!” Jesse snapped, he suddenly began yelling, forcefully moving his hands around in angry motions.

“Jes, calm down,”

“Well, you fucking bought up the topic, if you’re so worried then fine, I’ll tell you what’s up, I am fucking crazy. I am crazy and I know it. You know it. I’m practically out of my mind, I don’t even think I’m a functioning human anymore, I live and breath Marcus. But do you think I enjoy it?” He harshly spoke, loud enough to frighten Paul but not so loud that Marcus could hear. And he continued.

“I don’t even sleep, you know. I just lay awake all night, just thinking about Marcus, over and over and over again. And I just don’t stop, it’s just Marcus Marcus Marcus until the morning. And I feel fine through the day. You know how bad that is? My source of rest is Marcus. My sleep is Marcus.

“You don’t even fucking know how hard I try to stop. But every single thought and every single movement goes right back to Marcus. And he’s so innocent that he doesn’t even realise, he just thinks I’m a friend of his.

“And I’m losing my fucking mind. Do you really think I can stop, just suddenly? For anything, you’re seeing 2% of my insanity. I try to spend as little time as possible talking about him, and yeah, maybe my minimum is most of the time. But just know that in my mind, I think about Marcus 100% of the time.

“I eat, breath and sleep Marcus and he doesn’t even know. Heck, you guys don’t even know how bad it is, and it just gets worse and worse every day. And I don’t know what to do. And nothing you say will help. Nothing can help,” Jesse finished looking directly at Paul, who was lost for words.

“Maybe if you told him, things would get better, I mean, when you’re around him it doesn’t seem to affect you that much,” Paul finally managed to say.

“Oh believe me, buddy, I’ve tried, I’ve practically used every single pickup line and date trick ever made in any book, I don’t even think I like him, I’m just obsessed. And he hardly notices, he’ll just giggle it off,”

“Have you tried being more straight forward?”

“Do you understand my level of insanity? If I was ever straight forward and he rejected me, can you fucking imagine what I would do? I’m not some preteen asking her crush out on a date, Paul, I’m fucking crazy,” Jesse answered.

There was silence, as Paul took in every word his mate was saying, and agony filled his heart. He looked into Jesse’s eyes once again, cold, lifeless, you could tell he was sleep deprived.

“You know what?” Jesse began, breaking the quiet atmosphere, “I’m so sorry, sorry that I’m not really the greatest friend ever, and yeah, it must be pretty annoying to have to deal with me. You hold a special place in my heart and I genuinely care for you, even if my brain only knows Marcus. So thanks, Paul, you’re a true friend and I’m sorry that I’m such a psycho,”

Paul smiled at the apology, but he was slightly uncertain as to why he was apologising in the first place.

But before he could ask, he was wrapped in a warm hug and Jesse’s head lay on his chest. He muttered a soft ‘I’ll miss you, Paul,” but then he left.

That’s when Paul realised he was about to do something.

Jesse then ran off, hugging everybody in the changing room and giving them heartfelt personal short speeches, until he had gone through everybody. And then his eyes fell upon Marcus.

Like a dart heading for a bullseye, Jesse ran towards an unsuspecting Marcus, stopping when his toes met the younger boy’s.

“Jes-“ Marcus smiled but was interrupted by Jesse’s lips clashing against his own. Jesse’s frail hands aggressively grabbed at his knees, pushing his legs open so that he could move in closer.

Their noses were slightly clashing against each other and Jesse was practically sitting on top of the taller boy, but Marcus hardly reacted.

Jesse placed a hand against the wall in front of him and another in Marcus’ hair, and his lips stayed attached to the ones of Marcus.

He had planned to just kiss Marcus until he eventually got thrown onto the floor, where he would eventually die, but so far Marcus hadn’t tried to stop him.

In fact, Marcus pushed back every once in a while as Jesse’s lips moved him closer to the wall. To his own surprise, he found his arm pressing against Jesse’s back, almost asking him to continue.

Jesse himself didn’t want to stop, ever, he was making out with the exact person he was going insane for, and it was perfect. And as the two boys’ tongues fought in a lust-filled battle, Jesse noted something that he was now officially certain was true:

 

He was obsessed with Marcus and there was nothing he could do to stop it.

 

 

 

 


End file.
